Anniversary Of The First Moon Landing

As you know, July 20 this year marks the 40th anniversary of the first moon landing. To celebrate, I'd like to post an e-mail I received in 1995 regarding this historic event. Though I've learned that this story is a work of fiction, it is still a great story. Enjoy!

On July 20, 1969, commander of the Apollo 11 Lunar Module, Neil Armstrong was the first person to set foot on the moon. His first words after stepping on the moon, "That’s one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind", were televised to Earth and heard by millions. But just before he re-entered the lander, he made the enigmatic remark:

"Good luck, Mr. Gorsky." Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut. However, upon checking, there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs. Over the years many people questioned Armstrong as to what the "Good luck Mr. Gorsky" statement meant, but Armstrong always just smiled. On July 5, 1995, in Tampa Bay, Florida, while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26 year old question to Armstrong. This time he finally responded. Mr. Gorsky had died and so Neil Armstrong felt he could answer the question.

In 1938 when he was a kid in a small Midwest town, he was playing baseball with a friend in the backyard. His friend hit a fly ball, which landed in his neighbor’s yard by the bedroom windows. His neighbors were Mr. and Mrs. Gorsky.

As he leaned down to pick up the ball, young Armstrong heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky. "Sex! You want sex?! You’ll get sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!"

Lake of the Ozarks - Day 3

A spontaneous getaway to find traditional summer vacation activities of sun, fun and possibly hillbillies.

Thursday, July 9, 2009 - Our big plans today were renting a pontoon boat and heading out on the lake. We scheduled the boat for hours, starting at 10am. The lady at the boat rental place claimed we'd need 15 minutes to do paperwork. Of course we would.

We were up at 8:30am and quickly cleaned up a bit and headed to... guess where... the Horny Toad for breakfast. I could begin this story by saying... The sea was calm this morning my friends... well, it was calm this morning and looked to be 90+ degrees later in the day. At any rate, we finished up breakfast and got to the rental place probably around 9:45; right on time. However, we had to wait for others to book their boat. Once we had our boat, it was the first time I'd ever launch while at the wheel.

The pontoon we rented was a 22 foot, 50 horsepower engine. So we were not going to go anywhere fast. Once we cleared the marina, I put it into full throttle and we went a whopping 10 mph. Impressive! The lady at the rental office gave us some ideas of where to go and where to stop for drinks, which is the direction we headed in. I took my Garmin GPS and plugged in the coordinates of the marina, just as a fall back in the event I do get lost. This way I can find our way back. It works better than leaving bread crumbs.

The rental agreement specifically stated we were forbidden to take the boat to Party Cove. Party Cove is exactly what the name implies. Full of college kids and party-goers, drunks and delinquents. I really want to go some day, but today would not be the day. Besides, with this 50 hp engine we had, I would have to have the boat for the full day.

We stopped at a place called Jolly Rogers, a pirate-themed bar and grill and had a couple of Blue Moons (they didn't have Heinenken... and it was after 11am). I did an ok job at docking and re-launching. I kind of like yachting. We headed back in after this.

The rest of the afternoon was spent at the resort's pool/bar. We didn't stay as long this time around as we'd already had plenty of sun earlier in the day. We were quite entertained by the 4 women who were getting really tipsy at the bar and later ordered 4 pizzas. They were obviously on a girl's trip.

For dinner, we decided to try something else other than the Horny Toad. We cleaned up and went to an Italian place called Lil' Rizzo's. It was basically another Avanti's with a bunch of little kids in it. The food was really good though.

Afterwards, we continued to shop for dogsitting gifts and was successful this time around. We returned back to our room, where I am no posting to the travelogue-blog and listening to a really good rock band from the outdoor stage at... you guessed it... the Horny Toad. Right now they are doing an impromptu version of the Eagles' Hotel California.

We plan to head back home tomorrow. If something exciting or interesting happens tomorrow, I'll check back in. If not, it has been a good time down here at Lake of the Ozarks... wait, these guys are now doing Van Halen's Eruption... followed by Feel Your Love... this is cool. Anyway, we noticed there hasn't been a lot of people down here. We speculated that it will fill up over the weekend, which we'll be out of here then. But someone told us earlier that the economy has a lot to do with it as well. So I guess we timed out a good time to visit. You better hurry if you want to check it out for yourself.

Later.

Lake of the Ozarks - Day 2

A spontaneous getaway to find traditional summer vacation activities of sun, fun and possibly hillbillies.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009 - I awoke today to discover I was a redneck. Yesterday, I ran out of sunblock, but thought there was enough to get by. Appearently not as parts of my neck were a bit red this morning. It didn't burn however.

We slept in. Last night we were in bed early. It was nice not having Old English Sheepdogs licking you in the face at 6am. We headed next door to the Horny Toad for breakfast probably around 10am. This is where we more or less made some plans for the day. It was decided to head south to Camdenton, MO to see the Bridal Cave.

As you drive down Rt 54 towards Lake of the Ozarks, you will see tourist signs for this and other attractions. The name appears to come from the fact that several couples have been married in this cave. It looks that with the proper lighting, many of the rock and silt structures in the cave appear as stage curtains.

After finishing breakfast, we headed out to the Bridal Cave. It looked simple enough on the map of the Lake we had. There was a big arrow pointing to it, right off of Rt 5. Unfortunately, we forgot the map, but I thought I remembered it well enough. We got on Rt 5 and drove, and drove and nothing. No signs... nothing. You know, if you're going to run a tourist trap, you need to advertise a bit to get people there.

Buffy ran into a grocery store for directions, which the lady inside didn't sound too sure where it was at. But off of her directions, it started to dawn on me as we had to take "old" Rt 5. The map I was looking at did not, at least fully, show "new" Rt 5. We came to old Rt 5 and then asked the question, left or right. We turned right. Wrong move. Turned around once the road ended and shortly there after pulled into a Quik Mart and asked more directions. This time the lady knew exactly where it was at.

We arrived just in time to catch the next trip into the cave. We learned how people used the cave as a hideout of sorts hundreds/decades of years ago. It was somewhat a tight squeeze to get through and a couple of points. The guide would point out natural formation that looked similar to an angel, jellyfish, Cousin Itt (from the Addams Family) and the Energizer Bunny. We also got to see, a sample at least, of what the early spelunkers used to explore the cave; a thin ladder and wooded foot bridge only 12 inches wide.

At the end of the cave was a mystery object we could look at in a pool of water about 20 feet deep. They are not sure exactly what it is, but believe it to be a part of a boat or raft from uncounted years ago, speculating that someone tried to build some craft to float through and out of the cave. However, the only exit out of the cave is either the way we came in or through a tiny tunnel underwater. The guide explained that only 17 people have made it out through the underwater passageway and it is extremely difficult and dangerous. For starters, the passage is too small for anyone to take scuba gear. In addition, the water is 40 degrees and hypothermia would set in roughly 10 minutes. The sand and silt is so fine on the bottom, that the smallest moves will stir it up to where one would not be able to see.

Leaving the Bridal Cave, we decided to take a different route which would take us accross a toll bridge. Two dollars and fifty cents and it still looked like an ordinary bridge. Oh well.

We stopped in Lake Ozark near the Bagnell Dam and parked the car so Buffy could shop for dogsitting gifts. She didn't find anything, but I at least picked up a T-shirt and some more sunblock. We finished up stopping at a bar and grill called Casablanca's for some good deep fried bar food and beer.

The rest of the afternoon was spent at the hotel's pool area. They have one of those pools that you can swim up to and order a drink. And by that time, it was happy hour... drinks were half price. Did we die and go to heaven?

For dinner, we were back at the Horny Toad and watch an "old man" band. This place has an outside stage and there's music every night. Tonight's band, which I didn't catch the name, was a bunch of older guys (late 50's, possibly early 60's) that played very well.

Tomorrow we have a pontoon boat reserved and we plan to do a half day on the late. Check back later.

Lake of the Ozarks - Day 1

A spontaneous getaway to find traditional summer vacation activities of sun, fun and possibly hillbillies.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009 - Today we headed out around 9am with the convertible for Lake of the Ozarks. Buffy and I decided to take this trip just last week and did little planning for this trip. From many summer vacations going to Missouri while growing up, I knew which route to take. Though this time around, I decided to go from Rt 24 to south IL Rt 100 through Beardstown, IL like we did over 25 years ago. Though many things have changed over that route, it still brought back some memories. We also got to drive through the small Illinois town of Marbletown. We approached the city limit sign that did not indicate any population size. Two hundred feet further on the opposite side of the highway was the other city limit sign. Makes Mayberry look like a metropolis. I suspect this route was a little longer to go, so that's probably why nowadays, we travel from Rt 24 to Rt 107.

We stopped at the Lighthouse restaurant on the banks of the Mississippi River for lunch. We usually stop here for lunch when going to Missouri to butcher hogs. That's in the winter and we can normally watch the bald eagles flying around. They weren't around today. In the restaurant, some were watching circus coverage the Michael Jackson memorial. I noticed the older people watching it, but the teenagers in the place, like me, could have cared less.

Back on the road, we followed US Rt 54 into Lake of the Ozarks. Roughly 300 miles from home so it was a good road trip for us. Now we had to find a hotel as we made no reservations anywhere. I just figured we'd pull into the Holiday Inn somewhere. But Buffy wanted to stay someplace that had it's own bar. We stopped at a scenic overlook where Beth started making a couple of calls to girlfriends who have routinely vacationed at Lake of the Ozarks. We first got a tip on Tan Tar A Resort, but that was a little too far back away from everything... and probably a little more than what I wanted to spend.

Beth's girlfriend Mary Jo then called us back and said she'd set us up someplace. Mary Jo called back again and gave us directions to a nice place and got us a deal at $99/night. We followed the directions back into Horseshoe Bend to the place she got for us. We were unsure as we quite didn't get the name of the place, but atlas, we found the correct location... the Resort & Yacht Club of Toad Cove. You read correctly... Toad Cove.

The room was very nice. Three TVs; one in the bedroom area, one in the living area and one in the bathroom. There's a kitchenette with mini-stove, microwave and coffee maker. The countertops look to be granite, though I sure its some Corion or other cheaper composite. And all for $99 a night!!

Next door is the Horny Toad Bar and Grill, which is where we had dinner. After dinner, we walked around some, had a drink then headed back to the room. We were in bed by 8:30pm and were dead tired from all the driving, sun and wind. Tomorrow is another day!

Wacko Jacko: Enough is Enough

I don't know about anyone else, but there is way too much pomp and circumstance and media attention to his passing. Today is to be his memorial service. If you didn't know better, you'd think the President of the United States had died. This past weekend, rouge nation North Korea launched not one, not two, but 5 missiles, with the intention of hitting Hawaii. You'd think that would get the top headline but no, its about Michael Jackson and what toilet paper he used. What is wrong with the American public?!

On two different occasions within a ten year period, he has been charged with child molestation. Jackson even admitted to sleep overs with children in an interview and called it "charming." And remember back in the 80's he was prancing around with Emanual Lewis. I have no doubt that in his mind he actually believes there is nothing wrong with his sleepovers. I believe Michael Jackson to be mentally ill, who has surrounded himself with greed executives and yes men that had fueled him to other strange behavior. This is a guy (and I use that term loosely here) who would otherwise be homeless, living on a park bench somewhere had he not got a break in show business.

And by the way, what was so great about the Jackson 5 anyway? And what was so ground breaking about his Thriller video? It was a longer than normal music video, using the same special effects from the movie An American Werewolf in London and a cheesy dance routine from monsters. In the last 10-15 years, he wanted a comeback album, tour... whatever. However, he appeared to be very frail, even at one point, coming into a courtroom with a cane. So he plans basically a Vegas act for London's O2 arena. From the video clips of his rehearsals, he's not doing anything too dynamic. I just don't understand all the fascination of this once black man, to a white man, to a white woman to grey alien.

So let's face it. Jackson is gone. Deal with it and move on.