North Pole (RLO News Service) - Santa Claus plans to file Chapter 13 bankruptcy within the next few days announced Santa CEO Kris Kringle at a late-afternoon press conference yesterday. Kringle sited intense competition from big-box retailers, mainly Wal Mart, along with cheap labor from abroad and outsourcing.
"Ho, ho, ho!! It's getting to the point where a Jolly ol' St. Nick can't run a time honored operation anymore," confessed Kringle. While Santa Claus can still under price Wal Mart and other retailers by simply giving away toys, Kringle admitted that overhead at the North Pole headquarters have simply skyrocketed.
"Other companies have outsourced its employment needs, or manufactures its products with cheap labor to minimize expenses. Ho, ho, ho!! However, Santa Claus still maintains an expensive labor contract with the United Elf Workers that includes premium wages and generous medical coverage," Kringle added.
Santa's contract with the UEW is to expire at the end of 2006. Kringle announced that in the reorganization of Santa Claus, a new contract with the UEW will have to be woefully scaled down or Santa will also outsource and manufacture toys with cheap labor from countries such as China. "All options are on the table. Ho, ho, ho!!" confessed Kringle.
Kringle closed the press conference with saying, "Ironic. Those child-laborers will be making the very toys I'll be delivering to them at Christmas."
Kringle wished everyone a Happy New Year!
Saturday, December 30, 2006
Saturday, December 23, 2006
Lumberjacking
This post is dedicated to Uncle Charlie.
With not much to do over Christmas, Larry, Zach, Max and I went about to cut down a couple of dead red oak trees in my back yard. Rewind about 3 years ago. One of these trees had just died. My uncle Charlie wanted to ensure that it was cut down. He came up for a visit and while here, wanted to help cut it down. Turns out that the tree sat on a small incline, and if not cut properly, would fall onto my iron rod fence. Long story short, it would be more work than we were prepared to do at the time.
Since then, the red oak about 10 feet from this tree also died. So now I have 2 dead trees back there.
Over Thanksgiving, I was telling my brother in law Larry how I was low on firewood and that I have these 2 dead trees in the back yard. "Let's cut them down at Christmas," was Larry's thought, "because there's not much do to do over most of that time" (actually, we both surmised that).
Today, we cut down not one, but both those trees and split all the wood. We first cut down the tree that died last. Got that cut up and split and then we went after the tree that Uncle Charlie and I were going to tackle 3 years ago. Larry went about making the proper cuts, and then started putting the wedges on the back side of the tree. But a small miscalculation was made. Had this tree fell one way it would hit the fence; another way it will hit a really old and big white oak. However, it fell almost 180 degrees to where we wanted it to. While it did not hit the fence or any other tree, it did require us to haul the wood a little further to the log splitter. Oh well!
I think we got about a full chord of wood in all. Of course the wood will need to dry and age, but we'll be ready for the 2007-08 winter. I'm sure Uncle Charlie was looking after us and would be proud that we got this thing down, though a little bit unplanned.
With not much to do over Christmas, Larry, Zach, Max and I went about to cut down a couple of dead red oak trees in my back yard. Rewind about 3 years ago. One of these trees had just died. My uncle Charlie wanted to ensure that it was cut down. He came up for a visit and while here, wanted to help cut it down. Turns out that the tree sat on a small incline, and if not cut properly, would fall onto my iron rod fence. Long story short, it would be more work than we were prepared to do at the time.
Since then, the red oak about 10 feet from this tree also died. So now I have 2 dead trees back there.
Over Thanksgiving, I was telling my brother in law Larry how I was low on firewood and that I have these 2 dead trees in the back yard. "Let's cut them down at Christmas," was Larry's thought, "because there's not much do to do over most of that time" (actually, we both surmised that).
Today, we cut down not one, but both those trees and split all the wood. We first cut down the tree that died last. Got that cut up and split and then we went after the tree that Uncle Charlie and I were going to tackle 3 years ago. Larry went about making the proper cuts, and then started putting the wedges on the back side of the tree. But a small miscalculation was made. Had this tree fell one way it would hit the fence; another way it will hit a really old and big white oak. However, it fell almost 180 degrees to where we wanted it to. While it did not hit the fence or any other tree, it did require us to haul the wood a little further to the log splitter. Oh well!
I think we got about a full chord of wood in all. Of course the wood will need to dry and age, but we'll be ready for the 2007-08 winter. I'm sure Uncle Charlie was looking after us and would be proud that we got this thing down, though a little bit unplanned.
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Christmas Cards
It might be a little late, but our Christmas cards have been sent out!
I've noticed this year that we haven't received as many as we have in the past. In addition, we almost didn't send any this year because it just seems like we were busier than usual. So while we did manage to get them out, we did send about a third fewer cards this year. No offense intended if you did not get a card, but we reserved them for mainly people we only see or talk to a couple times a year.
Some of the cards we receive contain the "Christmas letter." These letters usually chronicle the sender's past year. I've heard some people say that they only showcase how great these other people's lives are. I beg to differ as appearent from a Christmast letter I received yesterday from Joe & Gina Orendorf. Anyone who knows Joe knows he's somewhat accident prone and has come to terms with it. According to their letter:
I hope that Joe has coverage by AFLAC.
In light contrast to this brief letter we received, we await the "Christmas manifesto" that we receive from Jeff Pulfer. Last year we received a multi-page debriefing of Jeff's year past. Way to much info, but reading about the hot, Russian girlfriend was entertaining.
Merry Christmas, Happy Festivous or whatever holiday you and your family celebrate.
I've noticed this year that we haven't received as many as we have in the past. In addition, we almost didn't send any this year because it just seems like we were busier than usual. So while we did manage to get them out, we did send about a third fewer cards this year. No offense intended if you did not get a card, but we reserved them for mainly people we only see or talk to a couple times a year.
Some of the cards we receive contain the "Christmas letter." These letters usually chronicle the sender's past year. I've heard some people say that they only showcase how great these other people's lives are. I beg to differ as appearent from a Christmast letter I received yesterday from Joe & Gina Orendorf. Anyone who knows Joe knows he's somewhat accident prone and has come to terms with it. According to their letter:
...and Joe's never ending injuries from various sporting mishaps.
There has not been one week this year that Joe has played hockey and not been injured. He then gets back on the ice, re-injures himself in the same location or elsewhere. He has been known to disable himself while coaching his 6 year old son. He refuses to give up as this is his love. However, I am convinced a hip, knee or elbow replacement is in his immediate future.
I hope that Joe has coverage by AFLAC.
In light contrast to this brief letter we received, we await the "Christmas manifesto" that we receive from Jeff Pulfer. Last year we received a multi-page debriefing of Jeff's year past. Way to much info, but reading about the hot, Russian girlfriend was entertaining.
Merry Christmas, Happy Festivous or whatever holiday you and your family celebrate.
Friday, December 01, 2006
Snow Day!
We got more snow in the last 24 hours than what we've had in the last 2 years. According to WEEK TV 25, North Peoria had about 12.5 inches. We normally don't get snow like this... at least not since those winters back in the 70's. And this storm couldn't have hit at a more inconvenient time.
Since we hardly have had any snow in the last 2 years, I haven't used my snowblower during that time. I tried starting is last Spring and it would start, but would not stay running. I planned to have it tuned up this Fall. About a week ago, I called to get an appointment and they said to bring it in whenever I like. It's been in the mid-60s for the last half of November and I figured I had plenty of time. On Wednesday, they were predicting 6-12 inches of snow for Friday. Yeah, I've heard this story way too many times before... and all we end up with is a dusting. I was wrong this time.
Beth's sisters Kerri and Pam were due to come into town this weekend to Christmas shop. So Beth felt it important to get our driveway cleaned. And shovelling was not going to work. We decided to brave the elements and drive into town to get her parents snowblower, not to mention clean their driveway before they give themselves a heart attack.
It took 3 attempts to get up the driveway with the Ford F-150 4x4. We then realized just how hard we were hit. Knoxville Ave in north Peoria was only 1 lane and looked like there hadn't been one snow plow to take care of it. We saw at least 15 cars in the ditch and abandoned. Peoria looked like a ghost town... almost everything was closed. Even McDonald's was closed. We got to Beth's parents and found that the roads in their subdivision was not even plowed yet. It looked like only one truck had already been through.
We cleaned up their driveway, made off with their snowblower and then helped a gentleman dig out his truck on University St. Once home, we cleaned off our driveway with the help of our neighbor Paul, who has a Honda 4 wheeler with a blade.
Gotta love a good snow day!
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